HOW TO UN-PICKY YOUR PICKY EATER
Episode: What 10,000 Children Taught Melanie "Coach Mel" Potock About Picky Eating
Air Date: August 31, 2026
Host: Christine Miroddi Yoder
Guest: Melanie Potock, MA, CCC-SLP
TRANSCRIPT
This transcript has been lightly edited for readability. Minor speech-to-text errors, filler words, and overlapping dialogue have been cleaned up without changing the substance of the conversation.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: Joining us on the show today is Melanie Potock. She's a pediatric feeding therapist, international speaker, and certified speech-language pathologist. She has over two decades of experience helping children and families establish healthy relationships with food. Known as "Coach Mel" on Instagram at @mymunchbug_melaniepotock, she is the author of six books, including the award-winning Raising a Healthy Happy Eater, which I actually have here, and most recently, Responsive Feeding, which I also have right here. She's a sought-after expert in both typical and complex feeding development. Melanie combines evidence-based strategies with real-life parenting insight. Her guidance has been featured in over 50 media outlets, including CNN and The New York Times. She's an ASHA-certified therapist and recipient of ASHA's 2024 State Clinical Achievement Award. She's also received nine ACE awards for excellence in continuing education and provides training for healthcare providers worldwide. Welcome, Melanie.
Melanie Potock: Well, hi. Thank you so much for having me. It's so nice that we finally got to connect.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: Yes, definitely. And you have such a wealth of experience to bring our listeners. I'm so excited. It's really a treat that our parents get to hear from someone with such great experience helping kids feel comfortable around food. You've been a feeding therapist and a speech pathologist for over 25 years, I think, right?
Melanie Potock: Yeah. I actually got my degree when I was in my early 30s. It was my second career.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: Oh, really? I didn't know.
Melanie Potock: Yeah. I didn't do this along the typical path. I went back to school when I was 28 and got a whole new degree in speech-language pathology, specialized in augmentative communication, and now here I am as a feeding specialist. So, it makes absolutely no sense how I got here.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: Okay. You've been doing this for so long, and I bet you've worked with a lot of parents and a lot of kids. What is something you wish every parent who has a picky eater, a struggling eater, or a child with ARFID or PFD knew?
Melanie Potock: It's something that a mom told me, and I actually have it on video for my ARFID masterclass. It gives me goosebumps every time I listen to it. She said, "I have to realize that we didn't get here overnight, and it's not going to get better overnight." I thought, "That's right." That's such a good perspective because kids take time to learn whether eating is uncomfortable, scary, painful in some way, or difficult to do. It takes time to unlearn that thought process, too—not just to build the skill, but also to start replacing those negative predictions in your brain about eating with more positive predictions. I really appreciated that she recognized that, so I've always remembered that point.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: That is a really good point. Just like any other skill a child would learn, everything takes time. It can take time to undo something negative, and it can take time to learn a new skill. I find that parents of struggling eaters often have a lot of anxiety around the mealtime process—whether it's the dynamics of the meal, the child's refusal, eating in restaurants, or going on vacation. With all your years of experience, what do parents worry about most? Is there something they worry about that they shouldn't, or something they should be paying more attention to?
Melanie Potock: Being a mom, and now a grandmother myself, I know that as a mom I always worried that I was doing something wrong. I think that's what I encounter most: parents think it's their fault. What did they do to cause this? What are they doing to perpetuate it? Honestly, I think I've treated over 10,000 kids. I took the time to do a rough estimate.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: Wow.
Melanie Potock: I bet I'm much higher than that now. In my whole career, I've only had two parents where it was definitely their fault, and sadly, that's the kind of situation where social services becomes involved. That is extremely rare. Ninety-nine-point-nine percent of parents are doing the very best they can. It's important to remember that every child is different. They're all born with their own unique temperaments and sensory systems. All we know is the way we were raised or what we've read, especially with a first child. But if you've had two or three other kids who are adventurous eaters and suddenly the fourth child is a hesitant eater, you're thinking, "What am I doing wrong? The other kids eat great." It's because that child is unique. Every child is unique, and there's more than one way to parent a child. Parenting a picky eater, a hesitant eater, or an anxious child is very different from parenting their siblings.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: That's a really good point. There may be things parents do with their other children that they need to approach differently with this child. I'm sure you've encountered that as well.
Melanie Potock: I always tell the parents I work with that if you went into a local bookstore looking for information on how to parent your kindergartner, there wouldn't be just two or three books. There's literally an aisle of books on that one topic. That's a great example of all the different parenting styles and research. There are so many books because there are so many different kids with different needs, temperaments, and ways of regulating. It really is an art to be a parent, and parents get better every single day. But it's not their fault. It's just hard.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: Being a parent is hard enough. Now you also have the perspective of being a grandparent and seeing things a little differently. That's probably very joyous. I've heard being a grandparent is the absolute best thing in the world.
Melanie Potock: The best thing. I mean, being a parent is probably the very best, but being a grandparent and watching my daughter parent her little boy is the biggest thrill. I'll start crying! You see how good my daughter and son-in-law are and how great this little kid is turning out. The fun part is watching her parent and seeing little glimmers of how I parented her. It's like, "Oh, there's a little bit of me in there." It's really special. I can't describe the feeling. It's like, "I love that she remembered—that's how I responded when she was little, too."
Christine Miroddi Yoder: That's really amazing. I love that story. I try to help parents think ahead. Down the line, their child may be introducing foods to their own children. The work parents are doing now—putting in the time and effort to change how they talk about and introduce food—can pay off for generations. Just as your daughter took some of what she learned in childhood and is using it now, this work will continue into the future. Food doesn't go away.
Melanie Potock: No, it doesn't. I've seen in every case that a child's relationship with food changes the parents' behavior around food, and it influences the family's relationship with food. Each family is developing its own food culture and traditions. You're right—that gets carried on to the next generation and then slightly tweaked from there. It's pretty fascinating.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: It is. It's a cool space to be in. We've talked about the future, but what matters in the long run for parents going through the process of improving or changing things around eating? You've probably seen families through this process thousands of times now.
Melanie Potock: It's so easy for us to get hung up on volume. Did he eat enough? How much should my baby eat? How big should the portion be?
Melanie Potock: Really, the most important thing to focus on is variety. We need to allow children to eat the amount of food their body is telling them to eat. That's the whole premise behind responsive feeding. Our job is not only to provide healthy food, but frankly, some unhealthy food, too. Give them a cookie. I don't want to come across as if this is all about nutrition. Nutrition is extremely important, but we eat for pleasure, too. I love a black bean brownie because it's more nutritious, but everybody loves a brownie. There's nothing wrong with that. Food is food. It's important that we present all food as interesting and available—something to talk about, interact with, and explore. We don't want to get hung up on, "You're three years old, so let's take three more bites and then you can get down from the table." I know those parents mean well, but those three extra bites will make very little difference nutritionally. All they do is create a rule that isn't necessary. Focus on offering variety. If the kids don't eat it today, offer a small sample again another day. Keep focusing on variety. That's how we raise adventurous eaters.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: That's a really good point. I always tell parents that just because their child says no today doesn't mean the food is never coming back or is off the table. They can simply learn about it today if they're not ready to eat it.
Melanie Potock: Just making friends with it today.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: They don't have to eat it. Sometimes when we say, "Take another bite and then you're all done," we may win a little bit of the battle, but I feel like we lose something in that transaction. Seeing the child take that bite may lower the parent's anxiety, but something is lost on the child's end.
Melanie Potock: You just hit it on the head. When you're nervous about your child not eating enough, you're waiting for those few extra bites to settle your own anxiety, and that's not what eating should be about. We need to trust the child and know they're learning to listen to their body. I absolutely guarantee they'll sometimes get down from the table hungry and want to eat again half an hour later. I'm not saying that doesn't happen—that's reality. But the more we help them pay attention to their body, the more they learn to follow what I call a hunger schedule, where there's eating time and growing time. They start to figure out whether they're full, whether they want more, or—and this is the one people often miss—whether they just want to take a moment to rest. If you and I went out to lunch, we'd probably stop midway through and chat for a few minutes. It's ingrained in us that we don't have to keep putting the fork in our mouth constantly. We pause and chat. Little kids do that, too. One of the first things I teach parents who consult with me about starting solids is to watch for the pause and respect it. The child will often start eating again in a few seconds, but let them have that space, just as you and I like to do.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: That is really a golden nugget. Even I forget that. As a parent, you're trying to do your job: it's time to give you food, and I'm putting it in front of you. But they need a pause. I need a pause—why wouldn't they? That's a very good point.
Melanie Potock: It's just like speech therapy. When we as parents hear a pause, we start prompting: "Say this. What is this? What color is that?" It's natural. I did it, and I'm a speech therapist—you're not supposed to do that! But I did it as a parent. I look back at home movies and think, "I was quizzing that kid constantly. Why was I doing that?" We hear a pause and interpret it as our moment to step in. But the truth is, the pause is where the magic happens. It's where kids get a chance to process language and respond. That's also true at mealtime. The pause is the magic. Don't be afraid of it. Give children a chance to stop, think, pay attention to their body, and decide whether to start eating again.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: I love that. That's great advice. What has been the biggest surprise over the years? Feeding therapy is very different now than it was 20 or 25 years ago, especially with the internet and telehealth. What has surprised you most?
Melanie Potock: I think my answer will surprise you because it isn't so much about the way we feed kids. It has to do with the field of pediatric feeding. When I first started, there were very few classes to take. I was running around trying to learn, find mentors, and build my knowledge. Then I became one of the few instructors—there may have been five or six of us teaching pediatric feeding more than 20 years ago. Now there are so many opportunities to learn from good, well-trained, experienced therapists like yourself, and I love that. People sometimes ask, "Isn't that competition? You've written all these books and started some of this." I say, "I love the competition." It means people listened. They're helping children. It means there's a passion for this. The more well-trained, compassionate, loving therapists we have, the better. Bring it on. If you had asked me 25 years ago whether I'd be talking with you today about where we both are in our careers, I would have said no. What surprises me most is how popular the field of pediatric feeding has become—and how much that's going to help so many kids. As we both know, one in four typically developing children will develop a pediatric feeding disorder. That's a lot of kids, so we need a lot of well-educated, compassionate, loving therapists.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: That was a surprising answer, but in a good way. I agree that well-trained is the key. As I've explained on my podcast many times, almost everything I know now came from seeking out training on my own. I wasn't trained in graduate school for any of this.
Melanie Potock: No, me neither.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: There's almost nothing I learned there that's relevant to what I'm doing today. I've tried to speak with ASHA about this in the past. I think there should be some kind of distinction or a way for parents to find well-trained specialists. Many clinicians are generalists and don't have the depth of knowledge needed for the different facets of feeding. It can be very complex and involved, and it's easy to make things worse if you don't know what you're doing. I wasn't perfect—I started somewhere, too. That well-trained piece is very important.
Melanie Potock: If you don't know what you don't know, you can create problems. If you don't know that your car requires a specific type of gas—high-test unleaded or whatever you call it—you could really break your car. As pediatric feeding therapists, there's so much to learn. I teach about four different in-person courses now, and in every course I tell the audience, "I'm so glad you're here, but I want you to attend as many courses as possible." There are many ways to help children learn to eat because there are many different temperaments of children and parents. For example, if I saw only one feeding training listed on a therapist's website, I might not go to that therapist. No offense to that person, but it suggests they may look at everything through one specific lens. You have to take as many courses as possible. That being said, as much as I value an experienced therapist, there's something wonderful about a newer therapist who has taken a couple of feeding courses and has the grace and insight to tell a parent, "I don't know, but I'm going to find out." That's the best therapist ever, right?
Christine Miroddi Yoder: I love that.
Melanie Potock: If someone can say, "I don't know. I haven't learned that yet. I'm going to find out for you," that's who you want right there.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: That's a good mark of a therapist. I don't think we were taught to be like that. We were taught that we had to come across as very knowledgeable all the time, but that isn't necessary.
Melanie Potock: It isn't. I think parents see through it. We're trying to help and build confidence, of course, but even at my age, I still have moments when I say, "I don't know, but I'll find out. I'll call my friend Christine—she might know." We can't know everything.
Melanie Potock: But we have to be aware of what we don't know.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: I agree. There's still so much we don't know. I feel like I learn something new every day.
Melanie Potock: Me, too.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: How has being a mom and now a grandmother—watching your grandchild learn to eat—shaped what you know? What is that teaching you?
Melanie Potock: It's reminding me what typical development looks like. Both of my kids did pretty well with eating. One was a little picky but didn't have oral-motor challenges. Then, as a therapist, you see so many children with sensory, motor, and other challenges. When you work with so many kids who aren't falling into that range of typical—I don't like that word—you almost forget what typical is. You can read about it, check charts, and look at the data, but when you see a child eating the way the developmental process is supposed to happen, it's mind-blowing. He just lateralized his tongue with no problem!
Christine Miroddi Yoder: Exactly—like, I don't have to teach you to do anything.
Melanie Potock: Right! It's like my friend Michelle, who's a wonderful OT. We started out together. I had children and she didn't. I remember saying, "You're incredible, Michelle, but you're going to be an even better therapist once you have your own children." She looked at me like, "Come on, Mel. I know what I'm doing." Then she had two babies and said, "You were right." You get daily practice feeding the same kids—it's like doing an intensive. It is such a gift to be able to feed my grandson, and I absolutely love it. Does he have moments when he throws food or gets picky? Sure. All kids have those moments. It'll be okay. No big deal.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: That's a good point. I've found the same thing with my kids. I now have an almost one-year-old who's learning to eat, and my children are about six and a half years apart. It's so different watching one and then the other. Maybe it's because one is a boy and one is a girl. Maybe I'm six years wiser and more relaxed the second time. There could be many variables, but they were very different with food, and that has shifted my perspective. I did baby-led weaning with my son. With my daughter, I've done almost the opposite—taking it slowly, using really small pieces, offering more purees, and providing lots of variety. We're practicing food exposure and helping her get comfortable with different flavors and textures, even if the volume isn't there. I think it's going much better this time, even though her volume isn't where his was. It's funny that you mentioned all of those things earlier.
Melanie Potock: It's true. I don't mean that therapists who don't have little children at home aren't great therapists. I'm addressing your question about what it's like for me because I have my grandson with me often, which I love. It's magical because the majority of my time over the last 25 years has been spent feeding kids who are having trouble. Being able to feed a child who isn't having trouble is truly a blessing, but it's also a reminder that feeding is a developmental process. There are specific steps kids go through to learn this skill, just like learning to crawl, walk, and run. I'm currently working with Feeding Matters to help educate organizations and physicians about that exact point—the same thing I've been saying since I wrote Raising a Healthy Happy Eater. Feeding is a developmental process, and I never want anybody to forget that.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: It may look a little different from child to child, but they still follow the same general steps at about the same general times, right?
Melanie Potock: Right. Exactly. A mom reached out to me on Instagram yesterday and said, "I have a 10-month-old who's only eating purees. What should I give her to chew on?" I explained that I had never seen the child, so she should take my comments with a grain of salt, but she would need to start where she would with a six-month-old and build from there. Feeding is developmental. Just as we don't stand up and suddenly start running, there are specific gross-motor processes we go through to become effective runners. The same is true for becoming a skilled eater and finding joy in food.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: That's a great point. What about parents who feel stuck and believe progress is impossible? Maybe they've tried feeding therapy or taken courses. Maybe Grandma has been telling them for a long time that something is wrong and they need to do something. What is your advice for parents who feel stuck and hopeless?
Melanie Potock: I encounter that in my therapy sessions, and as you know, it's a common feeling. When you're stuck, you start to lose hope. I like to retrace our steps and see how far we've come because, when you're stuck, you can forget to look behind you. You might feel like you're not moving forward, but then realize you've actually come a long way. Now you just need to regain momentum. Often, the best way to do that is for everybody to take a few steps backward and revisit skills we thought were established. Even if the child still has those skills, practicing them builds confidence and creates momentum. Things may begin to take off again. Always remember that no child learns in a perfectly linear process. They make progress and stall, then make more progress and stall again. That's the way it works. We just don't want to stall for too long because we can lose hope, become frustrated, and the kids may get bored. We have to figure out how to step back and put a little power in our step again.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: That's a great point. Many parents think that if they aren't moving forward, something is wrong. But as you said, going back can be grounding. It can help everyone regain their footing and feel more secure. As I always explain, you can't build the second story of a house without walls and a foundation. You need a strong foundation before moving to the next step.
Melanie Potock: That's absolutely true. Such a good point.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: I hope our families have listened and are soaking it all in. They know where to find you through My Munch Bug. If they want to take one of your courses, can they go to your website and sign up there?
Melanie Potock: Thank you so much for asking. My on-demand courses are for both parents and professionals, and you'll find them on my course menu. You can also reach out to me if you can't find the course you want. My live, in-person courses are mostly offered through large private hospitals, so they aren't always open to the community. When they are, I share that information on Instagram. The best way to stay in touch and learn what's available and new is to follow me on Instagram. Hopefully, we can share that in the show notes.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: Absolutely. Is there anything else you wanted to share before we go?
Melanie Potock: Just a big thank you. You and I could talk about this all day long, couldn't we?
Christine Miroddi Yoder: All day!
Melanie Potock: So, thank you so much for the opportunity. I hope we get to do it again in the future, and I appreciate everyone listening. Thank you.
Christine Miroddi Yoder: Absolutely. Thank you so much for being here, and we'll see you again soon.
