The 4 Reasons Most Feeding Approaches Fail (and What to Do Instead)
Christine Miroddi Yoder, Pediatric Feeding Therapist
| From the “How to Unpicky Your Picky Eater” Podcast
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So you’ve tried all the things—
Sticker charts.
Bite goals.
Bribes.
Maybe even feeding therapy that felt more like pressure with a credential behind it.
And yet… your child still only eats five foods.
Mealtimes are exhausting.
And your gut keeps whispering: Why isn’t my kid eating like other kids?
Here’s the truth: you’re not wrong—and it’s not your fault.
Most feeding approaches, even professional ones, fail to address the root cause.
So today, I’m walking you through the four biggest reasons common feeding advice falls short—
and what we do differently inside Unlocking Mealtimes to finally create lasting change.
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Reason #1: Only Focusing on Behavior
Let’s start with the classic mistake: focusing only on what your child is doing, not why they’re doing it.
A lot of programs—even those using great tools like the SOS hierarchy—miss the mark here. I’ve seen therapists use this chart like a checklist: “Touch it five times, then get dessert,” or “Try it, and you earn a sticker.”
But rewards target compliance, not curiosity.
And here’s something critical:
We are hardwired as humans to seek out food. If a child isn’t interested in food, that’s a red flag.
So instead of asking “How can I get them to eat it?” we ask:
“Why aren’t they naturally interested?”
* Is it anxiety?
* Is it gut discomfort?
* Is it trauma or food-related fear?
There’s always a reason. Your child isn’t broken—they just need the right support.
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Reason #2: Ignoring the Sensory System
The second big failure? Dismissing the sensory experience of eating.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, “He’s just manipulating you,” or “She’s being difficult.” But eating involves every single sensory system working in harmony.
When therapists or parents ignore sensory processing, they miss the reason behind refusal.
What we do instead:
* Assess your child’s specific sensory sensitivities.
* Support their sensory regulation.
* Create a calm, safe environment that invites curiosity.
And yes—even our most fearful kids eventually get curious.
They touch. They explore. They ask questions. That’s not an accident—
It’s the result of real nervous system support.
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Reason #3: Skipping Oral Motor Development
This one drives me nuts.
Many kids labeled as picky have oral motor delays—but nobody’s looking. Reports come in saying, “Oral structures within normal limits,” but what did they actually test?
There’s a big difference between anatomy and function.
We don’t just ask what is going into your child’s mouth. We ask:
“How are they using their mouth?”
“Are the right muscles doing the right jobs?”
If your child hasn’t chewed a textured food in years, those muscles may have weakened.
Just like skipping leg day at the gym—if you stop using it, you lose it.
But it’s reversible. We just have to rebuild those skills with intention.
Skipping oral motor evaluation is like trying to fix handwriting without ever checking how the child holds the pencil.
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Reason #4: Treating Food as the Problem (Instead of the Symptom)
Most well-meaning advice goes like this:
* “Just keep exposing them.”
* “Make it more fun.”
* “Try a new recipe or a fun plate!”
But picky eating is almost never about the food.
It’s a symptom of something deeper:
* Gut imbalance
* Inflammation
* Past trauma
* Anxiety
* Food intolerances
* Vitamin or mineral deficiencies
And no amount of “fun forks” will fix that.
What we do instead:
* Address the child’s whole body.
* Look at gut health, inflammation, and nervous system regulation.
* Make sure the child actually feels safe and good in their body before asking them to eat something new.
Because if their body feels bad, their appetite and motivation will shut down. It’s not behavioral—it’s biological.
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So What Actually Works?
In Unlocking Mealtimes, we look at the Four Pillars of feeding success:
1. Sensory Processing – How does your child experience the world around food?
2. Oral Motor Skills – Can they physically manage the foods you’re offering?
3. Gut & Nutrition – Are internal issues like reflux, allergies, or deficiencies getting in the way?
4. Mindset – How does your child (and you!) feel about mealtimes?
Feeding isn’t a checklist.
It’s a whole-body experience.
When we support all four pillars, that’s when the real progress begins.
And we don’t guess. We don’t follow a script. We tailor your plan to exactly where your child is at—not where we wish they were.
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Want to Know Which Pillar Is Holding Your Child Back?
Take the free quiz at ThePickyEatersTest.com
You’ll find out your child’s feeding level, what’s most likely blocking progress, and get personalized next steps to move forward.
Feeding doesn’t have to be exhausting.
There’s a better way—and you don’t have to do it alone.
We’ll see you next week.
