The 5 Most Common Feeding Mistakes (and What to Do Instead)
Christine Miroddi Yoder, Pediatric Feeding Therapist
Aired August 4, 2025 | From the “How to Unpicky Your Picky Eater” Podcast
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Is your child throwing food? Refusing to sit at the table? Eating only five things on repeat?
You might be making one of these very common feeding mistakes—without even realizing it.
Feeding a picky eater is hard. And the advice out there? It’s all over the place. You’ve got doctors, strangers on the internet, and even therapists saying different things—often outdated or missing the bigger picture.
After working with hundreds of families, I’ve seen the same patterns on repeat—and they leave parents feeling stuck, exhausted, and blaming themselves.
But here’s the good news: small shifts can lead to real change.
Today, I’m walking you through the five most common feeding mistakes I see—and what to do instead.
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Mistake #1: Pressuring or Bribing Kids to Eat
We’ve all said it:
* “Just one bite and you can have dessert.”
* “Eat it for Mommy—please!”
* “No screen time unless you eat your veggies.”
Whether it’s pressure or bribery, the outcome is the same: it disconnects your child from natural hunger and curiosity. Eating becomes a task to please someone else—not something they’re internally motivated to do.
Even bribes, which feel gentler, create a hierarchy. The message becomes: “This food must be so awful, I have to earn something better to get through it.”
Here’s a helpful analogy:
Imagine your boss says, “You can leave early for a 3-day weekend… but only after you finish these expense reports.”
Now those reports feel like the enemy. That’s exactly how broccoli feels when it's the thing standing between your child and dessert.
And the kicker? That food may genuinely be difficult for them—due to sensory or oral motor issues—not just because they’re “being difficult.”
What to do instead:
Focus on creating a mealtime experience that feels safe, interesting, and pressure-free.
Talk about the food. Play with it. Get curious.
Let exploration—not compliance—lead the way.
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Mistake #2: Skipping Structure and Eating Separately
This one’s huge.
Many families fall into the habit of:
* Feeding the kids first, then eating later
* Letting kids snack whenever they want
* Using meals as “quiet time” while parents do other things
But eating separately and grazing all day disrupts two major things:
1. Connection and modeling — Kids miss out on seeing you eat new foods and staying calm.
2. Natural hunger cues — Grazing prevents true hunger from building, so meals become battles.
If your goal is to cook one meal that everyone eats, eating separately is working against you.
What to do instead:
* Stick to a predictable rhythm: 3 meals, 2 snacks
* Eat together when you can—even if just for a few minutes
* Show them calm curiosity about food, not pressure
* Remember: hunger builds trust in the mealtime routine
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Mistake #3: Letting Liquids Replace Meals
If your child is drinking milk, smoothies, or Pediasure all day long, it might feel like you’re solving one problem (calories)…
But you’re likely creating another: lack of appetite.
Even water takes up space. And calorie-dense liquids, especially if they’re full of sugar or additives, can leave your child full but still nutrient-deprived.
What to do instead:
* Limit liquids between meals—especially milk and shakes
* Track how much they’re drinking if you’re unsure
* Serve liquids with meals, not as a constant grazing option
When their belly has space and their appetite is real, food becomes more approachable.
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Mistake #4: Catering to the “Short Menu”
It’s easy to stop offering a food when your child says, “I don’t like that.”
But here’s what kids really mean:
* “This is uncomfortable.”
* “I’m not in the mood.”
* “That’s not my favorite right now.”
Especially in early childhood, preferences swing wildly. One week they love carrots, the next week they “hate” them.
Taking those statements at face value and removing foods completely can narrow their menu fast—and make it harder to reintroduce later.
What to do instead:
* Say, “That’s okay. You don’t have to want it today. It’ll be here if you change your mind.”
* Avoid arguing or convincing.
* Keep the food on the plate in a small portion.
* Treat it as part of the normal visual rotation—even if it’s not eaten.
Remember: exposure counts. Seeing it, touching it, smelling it—it all helps over time.
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Mistake #5: Ignoring Sensory and Oral Motor Challenges
This might be the most overlooked issue.
Parents often say, “He’s just stubborn,” or “She used to eat that—what happened?”
But here’s the thing: eating is a complex sensory and motor task.
Refusal isn’t always behavioral—it’s often a sign of discomfort, poor coordination, or a nervous system that’s dysregulated.
Watch closely:
* Are they pocketing food in their cheeks?
* Covering their ears at the table?
* Gagging at certain smells or textures?
These are signs it’s not just “picky eating.”
What to do instead:
* Think like a detective. Ask: Why is this food hard for them?
* Consider sensory shifts as kids grow and develop
* Don’t dismiss sudden food drop-offs—there’s usually a reason
You might need support to figure out the root cause. And that’s okay.
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Bonus Mistake: Talking About Their Eating in Front of Them
“He’s so picky.”
“She never eats real food.”
“Why can’t you eat like your cousin?”
Even casual comments like these can become self-fulfilling prophecies.
Children internalize what they hear—especially about themselves.
What to say instead:
* “She’s still learning about vegetables.”
* “We’re working on trying new foods at her own pace.”
Your words help shape their identity. Choose ones that build confidence, not shame.
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Final Thoughts
Here’s a quick recap of the mistakes:
1. Pressuring or bribing kids to eat
2. Skipping structure and eating separately
3. Letting liquids replace meals
4. Catering to the short menu
5. Ignoring sensory or oral motor roots
Bonus: Talking about their eating in front of them
If you’ve made any of these, you’re not alone—and it’s not your fault.
You’ve been doing the best you can with the information you had.
But you can start turning things around today.
Take the free quiz at ThePickyEatersTest.com to discover your child’s unique feeding level and the best path forward.
We’re here to help you take feeding stress off your plate—and help your child learn to love food again.
See you next time.
