You Wanted Kids, But Are You Actually Parenting Them?
Podcast episode aired: July 8, 2025
By Christine Miroddi Yoder, Pediatric Feeding Expert
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Welcome back! I’m Christine, your pediatric feeding expert, and today’s episode is a vulnerable one. I want to challenge you — not to shame or blame — but to liberate you from the pressure to be perfect and invite you into a more empowered way of parenting. This episode goes beyond food. It’s about how we show up for our children in the chaos of everyday life.
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The Wake-Up Call That Inspired This Episode
This entire conversation started when a parent told me they didn’t have time for even one unrushed meal a week. Not because they didn’t care — but because they were stretched thin just trying to survive. I get that. Life is busy. Parenting is hard. You’re pulled in all directions.
But our kids don’t need perfect parents.
They need present ones.
Sometimes we need a gentle nudge (or a wake-up call) to realign with what matters most.
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Wanting Children Isn’t the Same as Parenting
I hear so many people say:
“I’ve always wanted kids. I dreamed of a big family. I imagined special memories and milestones…”
But here’s the hard truth:
Parenting is different from wanting children.
It’s not just about the dream. It’s about the daily, sometimes inconvenient work of showing up — physically, emotionally, and mentally — for a child who needs you.
It’s about being there even when you’re exhausted. Even when you’re overwhelmed. Even when your child is being difficult or ungrateful or resistant. That’s the difference.
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“It’s Easy to Love the Idea of a Child…”
I came across a quote that stuck with me:
“It’s easy to love the idea of a child. It’s harder to love the child in front of you when they challenge you.”
And I think that’s true.
As a feeding therapist and a mom, I’ve seen so many posts from parents overwhelmed and exhausted. I get the instinct to outsource — to throw your hands up and say, “We just can’t do this right now.” But what I wish is that more parents could take those moments of overwhelm and use them as a springboard to say:
“Enough’s enough. We’re going to solve this. We’re going to figure it out.”
Because your child is worth slowing down for. They are not too much.
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Kids Feel When You’re Not Showing Up
Whether they say it or not, kids feel it.
They know when you’re rushing them. They know when their needs are inconvenient. They sense the “Come on, let’s go, I don’t have time for this” energy.
And when that becomes a pattern?
They internalize the message:
“I’m a burden. My needs are too much. I should shrink to keep the peace.”
That’s not a message we want to send — even unintentionally.
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A Story That Still Haunts Me
I once worked with a family — two amazing, loving parents with high-powered jobs and two kids under five. Their son only ate four specific foods. He screamed when new foods were presented. Every meal was a battle. But they were always on the go — work, errands, therapy, sports, bedtime, repeat.
At first, they committed to feeding therapy. But after missing a few sessions, the mom called and said, “I’m sure this program works, but we just can’t do it right now.”
What I wanted to say was:
“It’s not the program asking too much — it’s your child. And what they’re asking for is presence. Safety. A parent willing to slow down and say: You matter more than anything else right now.”
Eventually, they pulled out of therapy.
I don’t tell you this story to shame them. I tell it because this happens all the time.
Not because parents don’t love their kids.
But because someone needs to say:
This matters more than your to-do list.
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Imagine Being the Child in That Story
You’re struggling. Everyone is distracted or too tired. You keep getting rushed or brushed off.
Eventually, you stop asking for help.
You shrink.
You start people-pleasing.
You stop being your full, authentic self.
That’s what happens in unhealthy relationships, and it can happen in parenting too — without us even realizing it.
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So What Needs to Change?
If you’re stuck in the pattern of rushing, outsourcing, surviving… this is your reminder to slow down.
This episode isn’t for everyone. But for the parents it does speak to?
It could change everything.
Because when you really show up — not perfectly, just consistently — the relationship shifts. The connection deepens.
And yes, that affects your child’s relationship with food too.
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We’ve Gotten Good at Outsourcing Parenting…
* Daycare handles development.
* Teachers handle learning.
* Coaches teach teamwork.
* Screens keep them distracted.
* Babysitters buy you time.
And those things can be helpful.
But the one thing no one else can give your child?
Your connection. Your presence. Your attention.
That’s irreplaceable.
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So Let’s Shift From Surviving to Parenting
You don’t need to make drastic life changes. You just need to make small, intentional moves that prioritize connection.
Here are 5 simple things to start doing today:
1. Protect one meal a week
Just one unrushed, phone-free meal where you’re truly present.
2. Be present in small moments
Make eye contact. Listen without interrupting. Ask open-ended questions like:
“What was something fun that happened today?”
3. Say yes to imperfection
The meal doesn’t have to be perfect. Neither does the conversation.
Just show up.
4. Tune into their feelings
Instead of reacting with frustration, pause. Ask,
“What do you need right now?”
Sometimes a hug or deep pressure does more than words.
5. Give yourself grace
You’re human. You won’t get it right every time.
Celebrate your wins — even the small ones.
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This Work Goes Beyond Food
When we teach you how to rebuild trust at the table, you’ll find it changes your entire relationship with your child. That’s the real magic.
You’re not just teaching them to eat.
You’re teaching them that they matter. That they’re safe. That they’re loved.
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Ready to Go Deeper?
If this episode stirred something in you…
If you want to move from surviving to truly parenting…
If you want to slow down and connect again...
👉 Join me in Unlocking Mealtimes
We don’t just fix picky eating — we transform how you connect with your child, at the table and beyond.
Because when you unlock happy mealtimes,
you unlock so much more.
